Both Sides Now 2002

(with apologies to Judy Collins)

Heat, and sweet icons of might,
A damn good way to win a fight,
And every free man's natural right,
I've looked at guns that way.
But now the tower's fallen down,
And terror's the new game in town,
I don't want some Al Quaeda clown,
To have his own AK
I've looked at guns from both sides now,
From "right" and wrong and still somehow,
It's gun's illusions I recall.
I really don't know guns at all.

Queers and fears of getting AIDs,
Crossdressers at those pride parades
And dancing, prancing flaming blades,
I've looked at gays that way.
But now it's just another style,
With legal unions in a while,
And no more military trials,
Based just on how you play.
I've looked at gays from both sides now,
From "born" and "made" and still somehow,
It's gay's illusions I recall.
I really don't know gays at all.

Lord, and Sword of righteousness,
The faith in life that I confess,
My every worldly need to bless,
I've looked at God that way.
But now old lines are sounding strange,
as even "worlds without end" change.
Some faith is lost, some knowledge gained,
in living every day.
I've looked at God from both sides now,
from "fact" and "faith" and still somehow,
It's God's illusions I recall.
I really don't know God at all.

Copyright 2002 - Straypooch got too deep

TAXMAN

UN Taxman (With no apologies whatsoever, but a nod to Messrs Lennon and McCartney)
 
 Let me tell you how it will be
 It's time to make the world PC
 'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah the UN taxman
 
 The third world purse is much too small
 Why should the U.S. get it all?
 We need the taxman, yeah the UN taxman
 
 If you make a buck you'll feel the heat
 As we take away your council seats
 The redistribution game is sweet
 Why should anyone have to compete?
 
 Taxman
 
 'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah the UN taxman
 
 Don't ask me why you ought to pay
 You're all rich in the U.S.A.
 So says the taxman, yeah the UN taxman
 
 Now if this idea seems amiss,
 Too bad, you greedy capitalist,
 Cause I'm the taxman, yeah the UN taxman
 
 And you're working to make us PC . . .
 

TIZZY
(with apologies to Tommy Roe )

Tizzy,
You're so dizzy, you're always spinnin' 
Left-wing nonsense, it never ends 
And your mood swings, they come so fast
You're makin' me dizzy

First time that you posted, trz, your rants got damn
near everybody pissed,
And people from both left and right competed to get on
your "iggy" list.
Everybody gets a laugh
From your Bush tax-cut voodoo math
And chat sessions that vanish like a mist

Tizzy,
You're so busy whinin' bout Dubya
Pulling numbers out of the air
and you "iggy" facts when they're posted
My god, you're so dizzy.

You hope that Enron proves to be the downfall of our
right-wing President,
But though the dems are in it too, that info doesn't
seem to make a dent.
You're not going to let it be,
'Cause you're so dizzy you can't see,
You ought to have a job in government. 

Tizzy
Your brain's fizzy, bubbling with nonsense
loony numbers clutter your mind
Even liberals give you wide berth
because you're so dizzy . . . .

Copyright 2002 straypooch

The 3 G's

With apologies to Franklin P. Adams (as well as Messrs. Tinker, Evers, and Chance . . .)

These are the dumbest of possible words
God and Guns and Gays.
Trio of topics and ALL for the birds!
God and Guns and Gays.
Ruthlessly pricking our PIC bubble,
Making the number of daily posts double,
Words that are laden with nothing but trouble!
God and Guns and Gays!
 

Traces (Enron Version)


Big investor lists,
Proof of our stock price inflating,
Audit errors missed,
Records of insider trading.



Traces of fraud in Big Oil,
that shredded up just right
Traces of fraud . . .


Memos piled in stacks,
That would scare the hell out of ya.
Funds to Clinton PACs,
Cancelled checks endorsed by Dubya,


Traces of fraud Congress seeks
that vanish in the night.
Traces of fraud now out of sight.


I close the case
in my defense,
cause in my files there's not
a "shred" of evidence . . .Nowhere!


Traces of hope in the night that that they will never find
These traces of fraud left behind.


Copyright 2002 Straypooch All Rights Reserved (especially fifth amendment . . .)

Buffalo Snow Song

by straypooch

Oh the weather outside is crappy.
But the kids'll all be happy
There's no school for a month or so,
in Buffalo, Buffalo, Buffalo.

There's nobody who can remember,
such a warm and mild November,
But for Christmas you sure got snow,
in Buffalo, Buffalo, Buffalo!

When you finally dig back out,
It will probably be early May.
But until the plows get you out
Hang out in PI cafe.

Oh the snow would be looking pretty,
If it fell in Salt Lake City.
The Olympics should move the show
to Buffalo, Buffalo, Buffalo!

Copyright 2001 by Straypooch Parodies unincorporated